In any event, as
promised I will continue to educate, as is my calling. Enjoy.
1.
Q:
I have a new prescription for my medications, but I left it at home. Do you actually need it or can you refill my
prescriptions without it?
A:
Absolutely Not. Realistically, as per my
previous blog-post listed above, you didn’t actually need to see a doctor ever
to have refills. The fact that you did
is actually rather bazaar. In any event,
I have the ability to telepathically read your prescription from afar. In pharmacy school we have a class called:
ESP 110. This class teaches pharmacists
several important skills:
-
Mind
Reading: This skill enables us to know
that you need your refills without you having to phone us and actually request
them. If you go to your pharmacy and
your refills are not done even if you didn’t phone ahead it is safe to assume
that your pharmacist failed this class and isn’t really a pharmacist at all.
-
The
ability to see into the future. A subset
of this class teaches us how to build a time machine, but that class is
optional. This allows pharmacists to see
into the future and make sure we contact your physician well in advance when
you need refills so that you do not have to bother.
As
you can see, Pharmacists do not actually need the prescriptions. By simply rubbing our temples and slamming
our heads against the pharmacy counter we are able to read your prescription
from afar using our mind’s eye.
2.
Q: My Doctor gave me a new prescription,
but I am too busy watching “The Price is Right” to bring it in. Can I just read it to you over the phone and
then come pick it up later? I’m in a bit
of a hurry because after TPIR I’m taking a nap and Bingo starts at 2:00.
A:
Of Course. As I have previously said
once you have been diagnosed with a medical condition you are automatically as
qualified as your doctor to identify issues with your own health. Secondarily, this translates into the ability
to read and write prescriptions properly. As well, pharmacists can decipher
mispronounced drug names and directions thanks to our ESP class stated above. Here is an example.
Patient:
the prescription says Lasec 2mg (could be a 20), take 1 tablet oddly.
Pharmacist:
ahh, Lasix 20mg one tablet daily, gotcha.
Patient:
Yep, the pink ones for my stomach.
3.
Q: I have a new prescription for my
Narcotics. I’m too busy to bring it in
today. Can I just fax it to you and have
my brother pick it up? I promise I will
shred it.
A:
Of Course. You see, the bylaws of the
Saskatchewan College of Pharmacists are not actually bylaws at all. We are currently having them renamed
“By-Suggestions” meaning that they are a rough outline as to what we are required
to do. The government also has this
crazy and ridiculous program called “The Prescription Review Program” which
oversees Narcotic and Controlled drugs.
It is a particular pain in the ass, as it requires silly things like the
correct patient name as well as an actually quantity of drug to be dispensed as
well as a bunch of other nonsensical B.S. for filling Narcotic prescriptions.
Apparently,
in some places, people have attempted to fax their Narcotic and Controlled
prescriptions to several pharmacies in an attempt to get more than what their
doctor prescribed for them. Weird, I
don’t actually believe anyone would do that, so fax away.
4.
Q: Does this look like Herpes to you?
A:
Eww, gross.
J
Hahaha...love it!
ReplyDeleteMy favorite is:
Patient: "How do I tell if my Viagra is working?"
Me: Uhhh...
The 70 year old pharmacist:"Well, its not gonna make you 18 again!"