http://drugmonkey.blogspot.com/2006/08/i-realize-today-ive-done-you.html
I will repost here, however, as it is awesome and I think it deserves a read on this blog by both of our faithful readers. I have made some amendments to it so that it makes a little more sense for Saskatchewan. For your reading enjoyment:
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After strolling around the store for about 15 minutes you finally make your way to the pharmacy department. I am on the phone with a drunk dude who wants the phone number to the restaurant next door. After I instruct him on the virtues of 411, you tell me your doctor was to fax in your prescription to me, which he hasn’t, and you’re unwilling to wait until he does. Being in a generous mood, I call you doctors office and am put on hold for 5 minutes, where...
The phone rings.
... I am then informed that your prescription was faxed in to my competitor across the street. You tell me you would rather not walk across the street to pick up your prescription, so I ask the physician’s receptionist to fax me a copy of the prescription and I tell her I will contact my competitor to have them cancel your prescription...
The phone rings.
...Phoning the competitor I pick my way through their auto-answering system until I finally get a clerk on the phone, who puts me back on hold to wait for the pharmacist. When I finally get through to the pharmacist I can tell by their voice they are having a splendid day as well. Your prescription is then cancelled, and now I have to get the 2 phone calls that have been put on hold while this was being done. Now I return to the counter to ask if we’ve ever filled prescriptions for you before. For some reason, you think that “for you” means “for your cousin” and you answer my question with a “yes”, whereupon I go to the computer and see you are not on file...
The phone rings.
...You realize you have forgotten to do something very important, such as go back and browse through the monster truck magazines. You return eventually, expecting to pick up the finished prescription...
The phone rings.
…only to find out that I need to ask your address, phone number, date of birth, if you have any allergies and insurance coverage. You tell me you’re allergic to codeine. Since the prescription is for Tylenol #3 I ask you what codeine did to you when you took it. You say it made your stomach hurt and I roll my eyes and write down “no known allergies” You tell me...
The phone rings.
...you have insurance and spend the next 5 minutes looking for your card. You give up and expect me to be able to bill your insurance company anyway. To solve this problem I call my competitor again and pick through their auto answering system only to be put on hold. Upon reaching a human, I ask them what insurance they have on file for you. I get the information and file your claim, which is rejected because you changed jobs 6 months ago. An asshole barges his way to the counter to ask where the pop machine is...
The phone rings.
...I inform you that the insurance the other pharmacy has on file for you isn’t working. You produce a card in less than 10 seconds that you seemed to be unable to find before. The reason you were doing this is apparent as soon as I look at the card which clearly "Drugs 80% Reimbursed" meaning you were hoping your old card would still work so you didn't have to pay for your drugs. When I ask you about this you confirm that you pay up front and submit your receipts after, at which point I sigh and...
The phone rings.
...A lady comes to the counter wanting to know why the cherry flavoured antacid works better than the lemon cream flavoured antacid. What probably happened is that she had a milder case of heartburn when she took the cherry flavoured brand, as they both use the exact same ingredient in the same strength. She will not be satisfied though until I confirm her belief that the cherry flavoured brand is the superior product (which I am unwilling to do), but which some other random shopper with absolutely no medical training is able to confirm…
The phone rings.
...I pull of up your Provincial Drug Profile and discover that you had 30 Tylenol #3 filled at a pharmacy two towns over. When I ask you about this you swear on your mother's life that you did not have a Tylenol #3 prescription filled recently. I call the pharmacy and am immediately placed on hold. The most beautiful woman on the planet walks buy and notices not a thing. She has never talked to a pharmacist and never will. Upon reaching a human at the pharmacy, I am informed that the Tylenol #3 prescription was indeed filled there. When I tell you this, you say you got Acetaminophen with Codeine filled, not Tylenol #3, at which point another part of me dies inside...
The phone rings.
...It turns out that a few days after your doctor wrote your last prescription, he told you to take it more frequently, meaning that what looks like a 30 day supply is actually a 10 day supply with the new instructions. I call your doctor’s office to confirm this and am immediately placed on hold. My laser printer has a paper jam, and It’s time for my tech to go to lunch. When I finally get through to the secretary she confirms this for me, at which point I tell her she needs to re-fax me a new prescription with the correct instructions. She then gets pissy with me about this, at which point I inform her that it is the Provincial Drug Bylaws that say I cannot take a verbal order from a secretary, not my own personal beliefs…
The Phone rings.
...She tells me she will fax it right away (which in doctor speak means “sometime within the next 4 hours). You are now getting a little irritated about the process and ask me if this will be much longer. As I am fairly certain the physician will fax me the corrected prescription (which of course he does not, forcing me to call his office again the next day) I go ahead and process it through the provincial drug plan which saves you a whopping 85 cents off the regular price of the prescription...
The phone rings.
...I hand you the completed prescription, at which point you inform me…
The phone rings.
……. that you’re glad that your last pharmacist told you you shouldn’t take over the counter Tylenol along with the Tylenol #3’, so you have been using the acetaminophen instead. I break the news to you that Tylenol is simply a brand name for acetaminophen and that you shouldn’t be taking them together, you don’t believe me. You then ask me why the tablets look different than those you got at the other pharmacy. I explain that they are the generic version, at which point you tell me they don’t work as well and that you want the brand name Tylenol #3…
The phone rings.
...I head back to the dispensary and re-do the entire billing and filling process to switch your prescription to Tylenol #3. When I come back and present you with your new prescription you are astonished to see that the brand name version costs more. However, you take a look at your watch and realize you are in a hurry so you remark “I’ll just take these, I don’t want to take up too much of your time…” and another small part of me dies inside.
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Now of course, this isn't actually you, this just the person who was in the pharmacy 10 minutes before you. Now you understand why it takes so long for your prescription to get filled.
J
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