Chapter 1: All you do is put pills in a bottle
During a particularly busy day at the very first pharmacy I worked at (it was about a 400 script a day store), one very smug gentleman was dropping off a prescription. When he asked the pharmacist (who was nearing retirement) how long it would take she replied “Oh, about 20 minutes or so!”
“20 MINUTES!” responded the gentleman “THAT’S RIDICULOUS, ALL IT IS IS PILLS IN A BOTTLE!”.
Without missing a beat the pharmacist reached behind her back, (without looking), grabbed a random bottle of prescriptions meds off the shelf and gently tossed it to the gentleman. “There you go sir!” she said as he caught it.
“Uhh, but” the gentleman stammered after catching the bottle.
“Yes, is there a problem” replied the pharmacist.
“How do you know if this is the right stuff” replied the gentleman.
“OOOOHHHH” she said “You wanted pills in a bottle, I gave you pills in a bottle. That is, afterall, all that I do. I never realized you wanted it to be correct”. She walked over, snatched the bottle out of his hands and said “It will be 20 minutes then”.
Red faced the gentleman walked out of the dispensary. When he returned to pick up his pills he did not utter an apology, simply just paid and walked out.
Chapter 2: That’s so unsanitary
Another pharmacy I worked at was open from 9am to 10pm. Unfortunately, on one particular day, only one of the staff pharmacists was available (due to doctor’s appointment and what not) which meant he would be pulling the 13 hours by himself. Of course, per the regulations of pharmacy, he could not leave the dispensary without a pharmacist. Were he to go for a lunch or dinner break. As pharmacists we’ve all done this, its part of the game (Where I currently work I pull 9 and a half every day without a break) and we deal with it by packing lunches and eating on the fly.
Anyhow, it wasn’t an overly busy day so around 2pm the pharmacist grabs his lunch and begins munching away. A woman, in her late 60’s, walks up and hands in a prescription to the technician. The technician checks it out and says “It will be about 20 minutes.”
Without missing a beat, because she really wanted to display how smart she was, she walked over to the part of the dispensary where the pharmacist was chowing down and in an uppity voice says “You know, that is very unsanitary, eating your lunch while you are working.”
Without even a moment’s hesitation he stood up, looked at her and said: “You know, you’re right, it will be about an hour until your prescription is ready” Then shouting to the girl at the front counter “As soon as this woman walks out the door please lock it and put up the CLOSED sign, I’m going for lunch” at which point he walks out of the dispensary with his lunch and walks out the back door, slamming it behind him for effect.
“He’s not serious is he?” the woman asks the technician.
“I don’t know, he looked pretty serious to me, I guess I will see you in an hour” she replied.
As a side note, he waited about 2 minutes, walked back in and sat down and kept eating his lunch as the technicians killed themselves laughing about the look on the woman’s face when they locked the door behind her.
Chapter 3: Call me if you don’t get my fax
One day I was working (yep, this one is mine) and a customer came over and asked if we had received a prescription from her physician’s office. We had not, but “No problem” I said “They probably just got busy, I will call them up and get them to fax it now.”
So I call up the doctor’s office and am greeted by a very snobby “Yes, what now” by the receptionist (obviously she has call display and is having a shitty day). I tell her Mrs. Doe is here to pick up a prescription that was supposed to be faxed in, but which I never received.
Angrily the receptionist snorted “You know, we are very busy around here, the next time you notice that you haven’t received a fax from me just phone me right away instead of waiting 3 hours”. I waited a couple of seconds to let that sink in, then I asked her “And how would I know if I didn’t receive a fax from you if you don’t send it? Do you just want me to phone you every 10 minutes to ask you if there are any faxes you may have for gotten to send, because I’ll be honest, I think that would be a waste of both my and your time.”
“Whatever” she replied and slammed the phone down. I’m not sure if she actually realized just how absurd her request was.
Chapter 4: Every Time I come here it’s the same thing
One of my favourites, happened while I was working. Once again, at the very first pharmacy I ever worked for. It was particularly busy (actually the place was always busy) and there was a line of people waiting to drop off prescriptions. A gentleman in his mid-fifties gets to the booth and hands the technician his prescription. She takes a quick look and says “As you can see we are a little busy, it will be about 20 minutes”.
Very angrily he says “You know, every time I come to this goddam place it takes you 15 or more minutes to fill my goddam prescription. What the hell takes you goddam people so long?” (I added the 3rd goddam just now for effect).
Very calmly the technician looked at the gentleman and said “Well sir, you see, there have been a couple of people who just dropped off their prescriptions ahead of you. Of course, each time we do this the prescription has to be entered and then counted. Then the pharmacist needs to go through your file, well sir, I won’t bore you with any more details, but as you can understand it takes some time for this process, and there are quite a few prescriptions pending.”
“Oh” he said.
“And” she continued “every once in a while someone bitches at me about how long it takes for us to fill a prescription which means I have to explain to them why it takes so long which puts us even farther behind, so now, unfortunately it will be 25 minutes for your prescription to be ready.”
She then walked back and handed the script to me with a funny smirk on her face as the customer stood there stunned and the other people in line had a good chuckle.
Chapter 5: I just waited for 4 Fucking hours
I have to put this one in, because it is one of the most common stories I tell (and one of the most common ones that happens on a daily basis). I was working the evening shift at the previously mentioned pharmacy that is open from 9am to 10pm. We had a walk-in clinic down the street that was hit or miss as to how busy it was at nights.
Anyhow, this was a particularly busy night. It was around 9:30pm and we had already done 135 scripts since 6pm, and it was just myself and one technician. So this dude walks in, already has a pissy look on his face when he hands me the script. We were at the point of getting caught up, so when I took it from him I said it would be about 15 minutes (which means it could be as quick as 5 minutes as long as I didn’t get a bunch of phone calls and questions etc.)
The guy looks at me and says, “I just sat in that clinic for 4 fucking hours waiting to see a goddam doctor, and now you are going to take 15 minutes? That’s ridiculous, just give me back the prescription and I will take it to Mall-Mart”. (For some reason that is everyone’s favourite threat, as if Mall-Mart is somehow magically faster than all the other pharmacies in town).
Normally , I would just give them back the script, but I was in a particularly good mood (ie shitty) because it had been a night of crabby people from having to wait at the clinic. I just looked at the guy and said “There is no way you can get in your car, drive all the way across the city, hand in this prescription and have them fill it faster than it will take if you just have me do it here.”
“Whatever, just do it then” he said.
In an event, the phone didn’t ring, I wasn’t interrupted and abracadabra it was done in five minutes and I handed it to the guy. “That didn’t take 15 minutes” he said. “I know, I just get a little angry when people bitch at me about 15 minutes being to long when they just waited 4 hours at the doctor’s office”.
Chapter 6: I’ll have a double-double
This one comes from a friend of mine. Once again, broken record here, it’s about people bitching about a 15 minute wait. Its seems if you tell them it will be 30 minutes the just think “Wow, they must be busy” but when you say 15 minutes they seem to think you are just screwin’ the pooch and making them wait.
Regardless, homeboy walks in and hands my buddy a script. He’s got a cup of coffee in his hand from the coffee shop located across the parking lot (the one named after a Hockey Player that is famous for their Double-Double’s). Now his prescription is from his doctor across the city which means this genius went and got his prescription, then went and got his coffee, and then went to the pharmacy. Smart thinking says he should have turned in his prescription first, then went and got his coffee.
So, anyhow, my buddy tells him it’s going to be 15 minutes, to which he is met with “Oh for Christ’s sakes, I drive all the way across town and I have to stand in line for my coffee for 20 fucking minutes and now you are going to make me wait 15 more?”
My friend calmly replies to him “so you are saying waiting in line for 20 minutes for your coffee is entirely reasonable, but waiting for 15 minutes for a prescription, which could kill you if I totally screw it up is not? I love your priorities man.”
With a stunned look the guy just said “Whatever” and walked away.
Best part, my friend sent his tech over to the coffee shop to get him a coffee and when the guy came back he handed him the script and said “Cheers my friend”
Awesome.
J
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